Superannuation. The joy of my existence. Not.
Eight years ago my husband and I formed a Self-Managed Super Fund (SMSF) on the advice of a financial planner. Let's call this financial planner Knobhead. That means you have an idea of how wrong it all went from this sentence onwards.
I had about $70K and my husband had about $35 in our respective industry super funds. Both of us had taken a hammering with the GFC - three years before my fund had in excess of $100K in it. We both wanted our super to perform better.
We really didn't have enough in our existing super to form a SMSF but Knobhead said, "You've just got enough. Form the fund, buy a investment property within the fund. Property is booming, you can't lose." And Knobhead duly produced a colleague - Arsebuckets - who specialised in finding properties for mugs like us to buy.
Because setting up the fund cost a bomb including using Knobhead's lawyer who specialised in setting up super funds - let's call him Rich Bastard because why not - we only had enough money for a 10% deposit on a house and land package in Tarneit, a commuter-belt suburb an hour out of Melbourne. We could afford the smallest property in the development. Just.
Knobhead found us insurance, too. Can you believe that? Life insurance and Trauma Insurance we would pay premiums on from within the fund, so it would be a tax deduction. We thought it was a bit pricey but he assured us the insurance company was one of the best around. And hey, it was a tax deduction. What's not to love?
While Knobhead and Arsebuckets got commissions and kickbacks, we gamely wrote cheques for the builders and watched, from 1000km away, our house go up.
Finally it was finished and it rented very quickly.
Here's what happened over the years. The rent didn't really cover the mortgage and outgoings such as the strata fees (as the house was in a managed estate), and as insurance premiums rose each year it certainly didn't cover them.
We had a specialist SMSF accountant that we found ourselves (didn't want Knobhead recommending one) who worried that the fund was losing money.
Meanwhile the house wasn't gaining in capital value. More development estates had grown around it, and most of the houses were bigger - four or more bedrooms compared to our little three. The bloody thing was worth less than what we'd paid for it after a couple of years. Given the buoyant Australian property market, that was insane.
We told our accountant we'd wait until the property gained in value before we sold it or else we'd lose too much money.
Finally it boomed last year as a railway station had been built in Tarneit the year before. We sold the house for a $30K profit after having made a loss on the fund every single year. We settled up in February and put the money into our SMSF bank account. Our accountant told us a month ago to try and wind the fund up this financial year.
So it was time to wind up the fund and - sigh - put our money back in industry super funds. The SMSF was going to die. It was costing us a couple of grand each year in accountant and auditor fees.
So we had a bit more in the fund that what we started with. I was looking forward to getting my $70K back.
But here's the shitty, shitty bit. The bit Knobhead didn't tell us about eight years ago. The bit our SMSF accountant SHOULD have told us earlier. When both husband and wife - or whomever - start a SMSF, and each puts in a different amount, the government deems that profit or loss is appointed percentage wise for the life of the SMSF.
So my percentage of the fund was much bigger than my husband's when the fund started. I copped a higher percentage of the loss EVERY SINGLE YEAR.
Reader, my $71K is now $28K. Ironically, as my husband suffered less of the loss and has held a paid job with a generous employer for the last six years, he has nearly $100K to put into an industry super fund.
And now this week with the financial year drawing to an end I'm frantically organising the demise of the SMSF, starting up industry super fund accounts for us both, cancelling the expensive insurance and taking cheaper policies out within the industry funds, and having a cow as the Tax Office gave me a rebate into the SMSF AFTER I'd drawn cheques and got it at zero balance. I'm now panicking to move that out of the account into the industry fund by 30 June or else, by law, I will have to keep the SMSF open for another year and pay $1000 auditor fees on a sum that's around $27.
I've been feeling sick and stressed all day trying to get everything done, and furious at Knobhead - and myself - about the SMSF and how it's sucked my money. At this rate I can never afford to stop work unless we sell our house - which I love as I grew up here - and move somewhere else.
This week has not been super at all.
Showing posts with label money. Show all posts
Showing posts with label money. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 28, 2017
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Why I kicked the hairdresser habit
I have a love/hate relationship with hairdressers.
This is partly because of my hair. I don't have good hair. It's thin and fine and since I've headed down the rocky road towards menopause it's become thinner and finer, like baby's hair. I suspect that should I make old bones I'll be one of those poor old ducks with too much pink scalp showing through my hair.
For me going to the hairdresser's isn't a pampering experience. I heartily dislike the obvious being stated: "Ooh, you've got very fine hair, haven't you?" while a stranger washes same for me. I'm not keen on other people washing my hair. I feel embarrassed and ugly, even moreso with male hairdressers so I only go to women.
I also don't need to be told by hairdressers in loud voices so that everyone can hear that I have two lumps on my head. I know them very well. They are sebaceous cysts. They are harmless and the only discomfort they cause is mental in a salon situation.
Then there's the cut. This is an uncomfortable process for me as I am requested to take my glasses off and, being blind as a bat, can't quite see what's being done to me. I guess young hairdressers are trained to layer hair whenever possible, and with hair as fine as mine too much layering can be disastrous. I hate putting my glasses back on and finding my hair so heavily layered that you can see through the ends of it when the light is behind me. If I'd have wanted to look like a scrawny freak I would have told the hairdresser so.
The last time I visited a hairdresser was about four or five months ago. I took a photo with me of a short inverted bob, the style my hair was already cut in anyway, but took the photo along as insurance so she'd know what I meant. I was visiting a different hairdresser as my old one had got too expensive. I always take photos with me and typically wear one of two styles: a Meg Ryan-type bedhead with not too much layering, or a 1920s angled bob. Trial and error has shown I can wear either of these styles and my hair can look reasonably full.
So... the back was fine, the sides were looking good and she had followed my 'no layering the sides!' instructions, then for some daft reason instead of leaving the bits at the front sharp and pointed, so the bob came down in a straight line from the back to just under my chin, looking rather 1920s, she rounded the bits at the front - instantly turning me from interesting and creative into middle-aged and conservative. I may be middle-aged but I don't feel it and I'm certainly not conservative.
Rather than complain, as the only solution would be to cut it shorter and there's at point at which a bob on me is too short, I simply thanked her, coughed up $50 and spent the next six weeks with my hair tucked behind my ears so I didn't have to see the rounded bits at the front.
Since then I've been cutting my own hair; I got it back into the sharp bob shape at the front pretty quickly. Doing the back can be a trial as I have to work by feel more than by sight, and it's not a case of simply chopping it off level with the hairline, I have to cut the back so the bob comes out as a bit of a wedge shape under the occipital bone with the back layered short under that. I've cut it twice since my last visit to a hairdresser including today, and nobody has given me a look that says my hair looks home cut. Phew!
The other reason I have quit hairdressers for the time being is cost. For a couple of years there I'd gone blonde, with foils. It looked good and hid the grey regrowth reasonably well but the cost was horrendous, even at a local salon rather than a big brand name chain like Toni & Guy. Think $150 a go with cut and blow dry as well. Eek!
These days I colour my own hair at home. I haven't attempted to do streaks, even though you can buy two-tone hair kits for home. Unless you have someone to help you - and I don't and I'm too embarrassed to ask anyone else to help 'cos I'm shy and self-conscious - they can look disastrous.
So I've dyed my hair dark red, and with the use of a dye brush and plastic bowl get as good a coverage as a hairdresser would for under $20. Given my recent tax bills and current lousy salary it's an obvious cost-saving measure. :-)
We're planning an overseas holiday in July, so I'll probably have to visit a hairdresser before we go and get a professional cut just in case I stuff up the DIY job :-), but I'll be paying close attention and taking photos with me that show the style from every angle.
Anyway, here are some tips for hairdressers who may stumble upon this blog post:
This is partly because of my hair. I don't have good hair. It's thin and fine and since I've headed down the rocky road towards menopause it's become thinner and finer, like baby's hair. I suspect that should I make old bones I'll be one of those poor old ducks with too much pink scalp showing through my hair.
For me going to the hairdresser's isn't a pampering experience. I heartily dislike the obvious being stated: "Ooh, you've got very fine hair, haven't you?" while a stranger washes same for me. I'm not keen on other people washing my hair. I feel embarrassed and ugly, even moreso with male hairdressers so I only go to women.
I also don't need to be told by hairdressers in loud voices so that everyone can hear that I have two lumps on my head. I know them very well. They are sebaceous cysts. They are harmless and the only discomfort they cause is mental in a salon situation.
Then there's the cut. This is an uncomfortable process for me as I am requested to take my glasses off and, being blind as a bat, can't quite see what's being done to me. I guess young hairdressers are trained to layer hair whenever possible, and with hair as fine as mine too much layering can be disastrous. I hate putting my glasses back on and finding my hair so heavily layered that you can see through the ends of it when the light is behind me. If I'd have wanted to look like a scrawny freak I would have told the hairdresser so.
The last time I visited a hairdresser was about four or five months ago. I took a photo with me of a short inverted bob, the style my hair was already cut in anyway, but took the photo along as insurance so she'd know what I meant. I was visiting a different hairdresser as my old one had got too expensive. I always take photos with me and typically wear one of two styles: a Meg Ryan-type bedhead with not too much layering, or a 1920s angled bob. Trial and error has shown I can wear either of these styles and my hair can look reasonably full.
So... the back was fine, the sides were looking good and she had followed my 'no layering the sides!' instructions, then for some daft reason instead of leaving the bits at the front sharp and pointed, so the bob came down in a straight line from the back to just under my chin, looking rather 1920s, she rounded the bits at the front - instantly turning me from interesting and creative into middle-aged and conservative. I may be middle-aged but I don't feel it and I'm certainly not conservative.
Rather than complain, as the only solution would be to cut it shorter and there's at point at which a bob on me is too short, I simply thanked her, coughed up $50 and spent the next six weeks with my hair tucked behind my ears so I didn't have to see the rounded bits at the front.
 |
| Today's cut and colour job. Probably not quite as good as a pro job but at least it's the style I want |
The other reason I have quit hairdressers for the time being is cost. For a couple of years there I'd gone blonde, with foils. It looked good and hid the grey regrowth reasonably well but the cost was horrendous, even at a local salon rather than a big brand name chain like Toni & Guy. Think $150 a go with cut and blow dry as well. Eek!
These days I colour my own hair at home. I haven't attempted to do streaks, even though you can buy two-tone hair kits for home. Unless you have someone to help you - and I don't and I'm too embarrassed to ask anyone else to help 'cos I'm shy and self-conscious - they can look disastrous.
So I've dyed my hair dark red, and with the use of a dye brush and plastic bowl get as good a coverage as a hairdresser would for under $20. Given my recent tax bills and current lousy salary it's an obvious cost-saving measure. :-)
We're planning an overseas holiday in July, so I'll probably have to visit a hairdresser before we go and get a professional cut just in case I stuff up the DIY job :-), but I'll be paying close attention and taking photos with me that show the style from every angle.
Anyway, here are some tips for hairdressers who may stumble upon this blog post:
- Don't comment loudly on anything you think the client may be embarrassed about: fine hair, grey hair, lumps, scars. Whisper in the client's ear if you have to let them know about something they undoubtedly already know about
- Don't talk about the client as if she isn't there. (Ah, the time I was having foils done by two young women fresh out of their apprenticeship. One to the other: "She wants this style in the photo but the woman in the photo has three times more hair than her." I have ears, thanks. Talk to me not over me.)
- If you insist on layering your client's hair, take the texture into account and don't layer the hell out of fine hair. Layering might give it more body but scrawny ends look revolting. There's a point of no return. Don't go near it.
- Listen when they client says what style they want. Take a good look at the photos they may supply. If you think it won't suit them, say so, and work out a compromise together before you start cutting.
- Inverted and A-line bobs don't have rounded fronts. Seriously.
Monday, April 2, 2012
Belt tightening in more ways than one
Earlier this year I embarked on The Clean and Lean Diet. Well, most of it. I didn't give up the glass of wine with dinner :-). Despite the wine I have managed to drop four kgs and am now within 2kgs of my goal weight. Woohoo! I'm the same weight I was in 1992. Mind you it's taken me three months where it should have taken about six weeks but what the heck. If dieting makes you miserable about the things you can't have it's not worth it; happiness should be part of every diet plan I reckon!
A key element of the C&L diet is having protein and vegetables at every meal, and the diet book naturally suggests go for organic. Not something I've been able to fulfil sadly as a) there aren't many organic options near where I live and b) it's really expensive. The 'protein at every meal' bit is expensive enough without sourcing organic versions of it, but I do buy from the fishmonger, butcher and greengrocer rather than the supermarket. Of course we're talking good meat, the pricey stuff, not sausages which are a no-no, full of the wrong kinds of fat. Chicken breasts. Lean steaks. And fish. (I suspect this is why wealthy people are often lean - they can afford the good grub and aren't stuck with sausages.)
However, I have dutifully got used to having baby spinach and rocket with my breakfast, sometimes raw, sometimes cooked. I am encouraged to eat up to half an avocado every day, as it's full of 'good' fat, which is no hardship as I adore avocados.
The thing I have really cut down on is sugar. Rather than nibble a biscuit (or, frankly, stuff it into my mouth and scoff it if I'm really peckish), I'll grab a handful of raw nuts instead. I confess to chocolate, good chocolate, say 20grams of dark Lindt, after dinner, but during the last week I've even cut that out and don't really miss it. Sadly sugar means fruit though, and I do LOVE fruit! Fruit the diet tells me is OK are berries such as blueberries. Yup, the expensive stuff again. The thinner the skin on the fruit, the less sugar it contains apparently. Melons and oranges are bad news.
Carbs I've cut down on too, as veggies have carbs in them and I'm doing OK only having bread, pasta, rice or potatoes once or twice a week.
And then there's the chewing. Chew everything at least twenty times, the book says. I've always been a fast eater. One of my friends years ago told me I eat like a dog! The C&L diet says that every meal should take at least twenty minutes to eat, but I've broken that rule too, mainly with hot breakfasts. Cold, congealed eggs and limp cold cooked spinach don't appeal. In fact I wouldn't eat them. Breakfast I still nosh into quite heartily, but I've noticed now that I finish my other meals a lot later than my husband. The 'eat like a dog' mantle is resting firmly on his shoulders. Even I have never seen anyone hoover up bacon and eggs like he does.
So all this is working, and it's really positive. This week getting on the scales has been the high point. (The tax news was obviously the low.) Finding that I had to tighten one of my belts a notch almost had me whooping out loud.
My crap tax news means that I can't buy clothing, shoes, books or music until I've got that debt out of the way.
The hard thing there, I may add, is not buying books! My love affair with books is a blog subject in itself. I think I have a book-buying addiction.
Clothing... heck, I've got a wardrobe crammed with the stuff, and now I make some of my clothes too. New clothes I don't need, but I will miss the challenge of being creative with fabric (fabric also coming under the banner of luxuries I can do without).
Shoes... again I have plenty. Too many - I did a cull again a couple of weeks ago of boots that don't fit right and shoes with not much wear because they're uncomfortable and handed in a big, stuffed-full carrier bag to Vinnies. I live in boots in winter and have boots I bought last year which still look new and are comfortable.
Music... well, I've been using iTunes now for ages to buy; it's cheaper than buying CDs. I don't buy a lot of music any more anyway. Certainly not Top 40 stuff but I do find some interesting jazz and folk on my cruises around the radio dial and have a hankering to hear it on demand rather than when it makes a radio playlist.
The one thing I'm not compromising on is the diet. Buying and eating meat and fish might be more expensive than sausages or simply turning veggie (there is only so much tofu I can take in a week), but losing weight is having a positive effect on my psyche and self-confidence. That's one thing the taxman is not taking away from me.
A key element of the C&L diet is having protein and vegetables at every meal, and the diet book naturally suggests go for organic. Not something I've been able to fulfil sadly as a) there aren't many organic options near where I live and b) it's really expensive. The 'protein at every meal' bit is expensive enough without sourcing organic versions of it, but I do buy from the fishmonger, butcher and greengrocer rather than the supermarket. Of course we're talking good meat, the pricey stuff, not sausages which are a no-no, full of the wrong kinds of fat. Chicken breasts. Lean steaks. And fish. (I suspect this is why wealthy people are often lean - they can afford the good grub and aren't stuck with sausages.)
However, I have dutifully got used to having baby spinach and rocket with my breakfast, sometimes raw, sometimes cooked. I am encouraged to eat up to half an avocado every day, as it's full of 'good' fat, which is no hardship as I adore avocados.
The thing I have really cut down on is sugar. Rather than nibble a biscuit (or, frankly, stuff it into my mouth and scoff it if I'm really peckish), I'll grab a handful of raw nuts instead. I confess to chocolate, good chocolate, say 20grams of dark Lindt, after dinner, but during the last week I've even cut that out and don't really miss it. Sadly sugar means fruit though, and I do LOVE fruit! Fruit the diet tells me is OK are berries such as blueberries. Yup, the expensive stuff again. The thinner the skin on the fruit, the less sugar it contains apparently. Melons and oranges are bad news.
Carbs I've cut down on too, as veggies have carbs in them and I'm doing OK only having bread, pasta, rice or potatoes once or twice a week.
And then there's the chewing. Chew everything at least twenty times, the book says. I've always been a fast eater. One of my friends years ago told me I eat like a dog! The C&L diet says that every meal should take at least twenty minutes to eat, but I've broken that rule too, mainly with hot breakfasts. Cold, congealed eggs and limp cold cooked spinach don't appeal. In fact I wouldn't eat them. Breakfast I still nosh into quite heartily, but I've noticed now that I finish my other meals a lot later than my husband. The 'eat like a dog' mantle is resting firmly on his shoulders. Even I have never seen anyone hoover up bacon and eggs like he does.
So all this is working, and it's really positive. This week getting on the scales has been the high point. (The tax news was obviously the low.) Finding that I had to tighten one of my belts a notch almost had me whooping out loud.
My crap tax news means that I can't buy clothing, shoes, books or music until I've got that debt out of the way.
The hard thing there, I may add, is not buying books! My love affair with books is a blog subject in itself. I think I have a book-buying addiction.
Clothing... heck, I've got a wardrobe crammed with the stuff, and now I make some of my clothes too. New clothes I don't need, but I will miss the challenge of being creative with fabric (fabric also coming under the banner of luxuries I can do without).
Shoes... again I have plenty. Too many - I did a cull again a couple of weeks ago of boots that don't fit right and shoes with not much wear because they're uncomfortable and handed in a big, stuffed-full carrier bag to Vinnies. I live in boots in winter and have boots I bought last year which still look new and are comfortable.
Music... well, I've been using iTunes now for ages to buy; it's cheaper than buying CDs. I don't buy a lot of music any more anyway. Certainly not Top 40 stuff but I do find some interesting jazz and folk on my cruises around the radio dial and have a hankering to hear it on demand rather than when it makes a radio playlist.
The one thing I'm not compromising on is the diet. Buying and eating meat and fish might be more expensive than sausages or simply turning veggie (there is only so much tofu I can take in a week), but losing weight is having a positive effect on my psyche and self-confidence. That's one thing the taxman is not taking away from me.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
I hate the tax man. How original is that?
Yesterday I saw my accountant to sign off on my company income tax for the previous financial year. I always leave it fairly late as I never have the money to pay the poor man! (Poor? Accountant? Well, you know what I mean)
I'd given him the books two weeks ago, confident that last FY I'd made a loss. I have a client who owes me around $13000 and most of that was for last FY. As I had to spend my own company's money buying resources for her such as stock photos it was looking good for a loss.
While most of us want our businesses to prosper, I'm in the uncomfortable situation of running a business with a low turnover despite my best intentions. A good year will see a turnover of $50K, out of which I have to pay bills, tax, and wages for myself. There is nothing, repeat nothing, left in the bank at the end of each financial year - or each month come to that. I do have a good regular client who pays me on the first of each month, and that's usually around $2700, which makes up the bulk of what I earn.
Given that cash flow is so tight the last thing I want to do is make a big profit as I'll get taxed to buggery. I always try for a loss or break even.
You can imagine my despair and astonishment when my accountant told me yesterday that I'd actually made $8K the year before.
"How?" I wailed.
I'm crap at anything mathematical and not great with Excel, my chosen software for my accounts. I'd added up my sales for the four quarters but apparently missed out one of the quarters. Curses!!!!
So now the tax man is going to slug me for $2118 straight away, as well as Notional Tax for the current financial year. The tax man assumes I'm going to make the same sort of profit this year - ha! I doubt it, Ill be spending too much on taxes! - and wants $679 a quarter, When I lodge my next BAS I'll be hit with a bill for $2037 for three lots of notional tax dating from 1 July 2011.
That's $4155 I don't have. I already owe $1332 for my BAS which was due on 28 March, but have $400 in the bank so won't be paying that until 1 April.
Then there are the accountant's fees of $1850. Luckily he lets me pay this off over several months.
It's an understatement to say I am extremely depressed today. I am tempted to lock up the knives and throw the key down the drain, just to be on the safe side.
It's bloody impossible for small businesses to get ahead, it really is, with the tax man slugging you for everything he can. Especially businesses with such a small turnover as mine. I did have some money put aside for tax earlier in the year but had such a lean January I had to use it to live on and pay regular bills with.
The only thing that stops me from winding up the company and getting a 'proper' job again is that my depression at the thought of having to leave the house and animals every day, toil away in an office with other people all around me, bound by KPIs, bosses, rules and regulations, hemmed in by traffic morning and night, moves up to suicide pitch.
Come on universe, send me a nice big juicy project from a client who is prepared to pay me what I'm worth rather than screw me down to rock bottom for a first-class job. Give us a $10K project, universe! Please?
I'd given him the books two weeks ago, confident that last FY I'd made a loss. I have a client who owes me around $13000 and most of that was for last FY. As I had to spend my own company's money buying resources for her such as stock photos it was looking good for a loss.
While most of us want our businesses to prosper, I'm in the uncomfortable situation of running a business with a low turnover despite my best intentions. A good year will see a turnover of $50K, out of which I have to pay bills, tax, and wages for myself. There is nothing, repeat nothing, left in the bank at the end of each financial year - or each month come to that. I do have a good regular client who pays me on the first of each month, and that's usually around $2700, which makes up the bulk of what I earn.
Given that cash flow is so tight the last thing I want to do is make a big profit as I'll get taxed to buggery. I always try for a loss or break even.
You can imagine my despair and astonishment when my accountant told me yesterday that I'd actually made $8K the year before.
"How?" I wailed.
I'm crap at anything mathematical and not great with Excel, my chosen software for my accounts. I'd added up my sales for the four quarters but apparently missed out one of the quarters. Curses!!!!
So now the tax man is going to slug me for $2118 straight away, as well as Notional Tax for the current financial year. The tax man assumes I'm going to make the same sort of profit this year - ha! I doubt it, Ill be spending too much on taxes! - and wants $679 a quarter, When I lodge my next BAS I'll be hit with a bill for $2037 for three lots of notional tax dating from 1 July 2011.
That's $4155 I don't have. I already owe $1332 for my BAS which was due on 28 March, but have $400 in the bank so won't be paying that until 1 April.
Then there are the accountant's fees of $1850. Luckily he lets me pay this off over several months.
It's an understatement to say I am extremely depressed today. I am tempted to lock up the knives and throw the key down the drain, just to be on the safe side.
It's bloody impossible for small businesses to get ahead, it really is, with the tax man slugging you for everything he can. Especially businesses with such a small turnover as mine. I did have some money put aside for tax earlier in the year but had such a lean January I had to use it to live on and pay regular bills with.
The only thing that stops me from winding up the company and getting a 'proper' job again is that my depression at the thought of having to leave the house and animals every day, toil away in an office with other people all around me, bound by KPIs, bosses, rules and regulations, hemmed in by traffic morning and night, moves up to suicide pitch.
Come on universe, send me a nice big juicy project from a client who is prepared to pay me what I'm worth rather than screw me down to rock bottom for a first-class job. Give us a $10K project, universe! Please?
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